Like any other form of healthy sexuality, SM play ideally takes place between consenting adults who negotiate the limits of what they are going to do. Before the scene its common to agree on a safe word or safe gesture that either person can use to stop the action, even if it involves a fantasy about resisting or saying no. Don’t play with someone who refuses to give you a safe word, refuse to negotiate, or won’t respect your limits. Never go home with a stranger unless a friend knows where you are. Whenever possible, check out the reputation of a new play partner with others you trust and play with them in a public if it possible.
Negotiation should not only include limits and expectations of all parties, but a though review of the bottom’s medical history as well. If you or your partner has been drinking, it can be harder to be clear about your limits and more difficult to tell when you have reached them. Playing sober is the best way to do a scene.
Also remember to have a first aid kit with you. Your tool box should include:
*Ammonia inhalants – to revive the fainted bottom
*Gauze and bandages
*Scissors – safety ones to cut ropes quickly
*An ice pack
* some water or juice
The A B C’s of first aid are Airways, Breathing and Circulation. Learn the 3/4 position. Make a straight line from left leg to the left arm, bend their right knee up and right elbow down. In this position they can breathe more easily if they were on their back vomit of saliva is likely to choke them.